The Borderline Experience: 5 Behavioral Patterns

The Borderline Experience: BPD Behavioral Patterns

So, you’ve taken my BPD Quiz… Or, you’re still confused about BPD… Or, you have a sneaking suspicion that someone you know has BPD and want to learn more… Or, your search for a BPD therapist landed ya here… Or, you just love learning new sh*t and want to have a geek-out session…

Borderline Personality Disorder is very confusing- like, so very misunderstood that laypeople and professionals alike remain confused about it, which totally contributes to the stigma surrounding BPD. So, with that in mind, I thought I’d piggyback off of my prior post here, and provide even more information to help ya get your “learn on”. Hopefully, this will provide another perspective and will help you out in some way.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), can be broken down into several areas of dysfunction- (“dysfunction” meaning the inability to manage or control) and there are 5 areas to be exact. Now, just in case you’re an avid reader of the DSM, which is probably unlikely, (but if you’re wondering) you may note that the way in which I’m describing the problematic areas, is different than how the DSM organizes the criteria. I’m a fan of the way Dr. Marsha Linehan re-organized the criteria of BPD, so that’s the way I’m passing it on to you. (Plus, I think it’s easier to grasp it this way.)

What Does Having BPD Actually Mean?

When someone has BPD, there are 5 behavioral patterns that can be identified. Again, these are areas in the person’s life that are considered unmanageable; where the person lacks control.

1. Emotion Dysregulation:

   Without a doubt, this is the most recognizable characteristic of the disorder. What does it mean? It means that the person experiences drastic mood swings and severely lacks any control of her emotional expressions-

   >>> In effect, they are their emotions, as in, they ride the emotional roller coaster. <<<

   There’s limited ability to manage whatever feelings they have, so that when they feel an emotion, they act on it. They feel emotions very intensely and hence, express them intensely.

2. Interpersonal Dysregulation:

   The drastic, intense moods and the accompanying emotional expressions are more often than not, in response to some sort of relationship mishap. Thus, interpersonal issues are commonly seen within a Borderline person’s relationships. It’s not uncommon for someone with Borderline Personality to typically have a pattern of relationship instability, in their relationships with intimate partners, co-workers, friends, and family. For someone with BPD, they are terrified of being abandoned by those they love.

   >>> These relationships tend to be described as chaotic, unstable, full of drama, and intense. <<<

   Despite its toxicity, the Borderline individual desperately wants to hang onto the relationship with that person. They may also “fall in and out of love” quickly.

3. Behavior Dysregulation:

   Otherwise known as extreme and impulsive behavior patterns.

   >>> These are self-destructive behaviors (think binge drinking, spending sprees, self-harm, promiscuity, …), and are used by the individual as a means to “cope” with emotional distress. <<<

4. Cognitive Dysregulation:

   Ok, just to clarify, everyone has distorted thinking or negative automatic thoughts (a.k.a. “mental garbage” or “head trash”). However, the distorted thinking of someone with BPD tends to revolve around

   >>> “idealizing” and “devaluation”. <<<

   Simply put, they put someone on a pedestal, in which the identified person can do no wrong; however, said person can quickly fall, to forever securing a spot on the “Sh*t List”.

   Borderline individuals can be described as having a “hypersensitivity” to perceived personal slights or social rejections. Hence, you see how this relates to the interpersonal dysregulation/problematic relationship piece of the diagnosis.

5. Self Dysregulation:

   This describes lacking a sense of self or identity disturbance. It’s as though the individual is having

   >>> a perpetual identity crisis. <<<

   They feel a desire to just “belong somewhere”; often relating to feeling like a chameleon.

I truly hope that this helps you gain a better understanding of the Borderline experience.

Borderline Personality Disorder Treatment in Philadelphia, Lebanon, Harrisburg, York & Lancaster, PA

I’m passionate about using DBT to help those suffering from BPD. If you or someone you know struggles with or relates to what I’ve described above, please reach out and schedule a free, 15-minute consultation by calling me at 717-685-5074 or scheduling your own consult here.