How to Not Ruin the Holidays with Your Emotions: BPD Holiday Stress
Holding It Together When You Feel Like Falling Apart: DBT for Holiday Survival
For a lot of people, holidays are “supposed” to be a time of joy, connection, and celebration. If you’re living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), dealing with extreme emotions or intense anxiety, this season can feel like walking through a minefield.
When emotions run high and relationships feel fragile, even the smallest moment — a comment at dinner, a delayed response to a text, a feeling of being left out — can trigger a wave of sadness, anger, shame, or fear.
And when the pressure to "keep it together" feels heavier than ever, it’s easy to spiral:
“I ruined everything again.”
“Why can’t I just be normal for once?”
“They’re better off without me.”
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone — and you’re not broken.
There are ways to get through the holiday season without abandoning yourself or your emotions.
Why the Holidays Feel So Hard When You Have BPD
The holidays can magnify emotional experiences for certain people. For someone with BPD, that often means:
Higher stakes around family gatherings, traditions, and expectations
Old wounds resurfacing around belonging, abandonment, and worthiness
Comparisons to others who seem effortlessly happy or connected
Unrealistic expectations to feel joyful, grateful, and put together at all times
When you're already carrying deep emotions, the pressure of the season can push you to the edge — making emotional reactions feel bigger, scarier, and harder to control.
How DBT Can Help You Navigate Holiday Stress
Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is an effective treatment for people who struggle with controlling their emotions and behaviors — especially when emotions feel intense and unpredictable.
Instead of asking you to silence what you feel, DBT helps you learn new ways to respond without making painful situations worse.
During the holidays, when emotional triggers are everywhere, DBT can support you by helping you:
Replace problem behaviors with skillful behaviors that move you toward your goals instead of away from them
Experience the full range of emotions without automatically reacting or losing control
Navigate relationships more effectively, even when family gatherings, social events, and unmet expectations create tension
Tolerate painful moments without acting impulsively
Reconnect with the bigger picture of what you want for your life — not just surviving the holidays— creating a life that feels meaningful and worth living
DBT teaches you how to stay connected to yourself even when the emotional waves hit hardest — and how to make choices that support your healing, even when it’s hard.
You’re Not Broken — Even When Things Get Messy
The truth is, sometimes emotions get messy.
Living with BPD doesn't mean you're destined to ruin the holidays.
Sometimes you might say something you regret, shut down, snap at someone you love, or isolate yourself when you need connection the most.
Even if you did any of those things, that doesn’t mean you’ve ruined the holidays.
It means that you’re a human being. It's also part of living with emotions that react faster and run deeper than most people can see.
DBT teaches that even when emotions get messy, you’re not beyond repair.
You can recognize what's happening, regroup, and still move toward connection, healing, and self-respect — without needing to pretend you don't feel anything.
One “bad” moment doesn’t erase everything good about you. One emotional struggle doesn’t mean you’ve ruined the whole day, the whole season, or your whole worth.
You don’t have to be perfect to deserve a place at the table this holiday season. You just have to be willing to keep showing up for yourself, even in the hard moments.
Real Support with Philadelphia DBT Therapy
Maybe you’ve had moments where emotions ran high and things didn’t go the way you hoped. Maybe you’re already afraid you’ll mess things up again this year.
And yet, just because you may have struggled in the past doesn't mean you're broken — and it certainly doesn't mean you're beyond hope.
DBT therapy isn’t about pretending you're fine.
It’s about learning to ride the waves of real emotions, even when they’re overwhelming, and building a life that makes room for all of your experiences — not just the ones that look good on the outside.
As a Philadelphia DBT therapist, I get how intense this season can feel when you live with BPD, debilitating anxiety, or deep emotional sensitivity. You're not too much and you're not alone.
You just need real support that honors the full truth of what you’re carrying.
Start BPD Treatment with a Philadelphia DBT Therapist
If you're ready to stop white-knuckling your way through the holidays — and ready to start learning how to navigate your emotions with compassion, stability, and skill — DBT therapy can help.
I offer free consultations for BPD treatment in Pennsylvania, so you can find out if Philadelphia DBT Therapy is the right fit for you.
