Why do people with BPD cut and what to do about it?

BPD & the role of self-harm

You told yourself you wouldn’t do it again, and yet here you are, sitting on the floor, face streaked with dried tears, and looking down at your seeping wound again.

It’s so hard for people to get it; to wrap their brains around why you’d deliberately hurt yourself; to run that blade along your body, resulting in a bloody mess.

But that immediate relief you feel, even if for only a second, seems to be what brings you back to it again and again.

If you are honest, you don’t know why you do it either. You don’t want to do it. You really don’t. But, when you’re faced with excruciating, raw emotional pain, you don’t know what to do to make the emotional pain go away. You’d do anything to not feel the burning pain; the raw, seething pain you get when faced with the intense, painful emotions.  

You are so ashamed of yourself; so ashamed that you do these things to yourself; the purposeful, destructive behavior that only brings you more pain in the end and makes your problems worse.

It almost seems like a cruel joke. The very idea that you’d purposely cut yourself to rid yourself of feeling such excruciating, emotional pain, seems… well… crazy.

Why do people do it? Why do people self-harm?

You’ve asked yourself over and over again. Why on Earth do you do things that are harmful to yourself? Why would you purposely engage in things that, on the surface, seem so crazy?

The short answer is that you’re getting something from it. It’s helping you somehow.

Say What?

Here’s a quick lesson on human behavior.

People only continue to engage in behavior when they get something out of it. Think about it this way. We only continue to do certain things when there’s some sort of payoff; a reinforcer, if you will.

What does that mean?

People wouldn’t continue to do things or behave in certain ways if the behavior wasn’t reinforced (something that makes the behavior more likely to occur again) somehow.

The bottom line- it’s solving a problem.

For people with BPD, cutting helps them solve a problem. 

So, what is happening to someone who purposely injures themselves?

The reality is that people who engage in self-harm may not even be aware that it is providing them with something. That cutting themselves is helping them solve a problem.

In DBT, cutting and other forms of self-injurious behavior, are viewed as ineffective problem-solving strategies. What is someone who has BPD trying to “solve” by cutting themselves?

Going back to the basic principles of learning, people only continue to engage in behavior when it somehow provides them with something. 

When you have BPD and experience intense emotional pain that won’t go away, you’ll do just about anything to make the pain stop.

After years of specializing in BPD treatment, it’s become clear. People who engage in cutting or other forms of self-harm, do so for very good reasons. They are experiencing intense emotional pain and want relief. Self-injury provides them with that desperately sought after, albeit very brief, relief.

In other words, they are problem-solving the emotion.

Cutting is a way to avoid having to deal with excruciating emotional pain.  

When you think about it, it does make sense. It’s definitely NOT an effective mode for coping with emotional pain, and yet, it makes sense.

Self-Injury can be life-threatening and is NOT an effective strategy to solve your painful life problems. 

How Philadelphia DBT can help.

When you’re in DBT, your therapist will help you identify what exactly happens that leads you to cut yourself, how it specifically helps you solve your individual problems, and what keeps you coming back to it. Once you and your therapist learn what’s causing and maintaining your cutting/self-harm behavior, you will then have more information on how to stop engaging in it.

Your DBT Therapist in Philadelphia

I know you don’t want to cut yourself or continue hurting yourself on purpose. I know you’re probably at the end of your rope and feeling desperate. I get that you’re scared and ashamed and the last thing you want to do is reach out to a therapist to help.

The truth is that Dialectical Behavior Therapy can help you learn how to effectively cope with the emotional pain you’re experiencing. You can find a way out of hell. That way is DBT.

Philadelphia BPD Therapist

When you work with me, I can help you get out of the cycle of cutting and become more skillful in solving your life’s problems. If you’re ready to experience DBT with an expert, a DBT therapist with extensive training and passionate about helping people with BPD, reach out now.

My DBT therapy consultations are free and can be scheduled HERE.